A ton has happened since my last blog.
I started studying Homeopathy.
One daughter had a colonoscopy and upper GI scope that came back negative of all things.
Another daughter had a colonoscopy and upper GI scope that came back Crohn's.
Those 3 things have had me in a tizzy, to say the least. The homeopathy piece is bigger than I can explain in a paragraph. How I got there... my last blog post is a HUGE reason. Determining that there MUST be another way has forced me to read and read and read. Having a disease that I don't want to use traditional medicine unless I have to has forced me to listen to podcast after podcast. Being a 6 on the enneagram has caused panic inside of me.....because of all the "worst-case scenario" moments I can come up with.
But what is one to do when the people you love MUST make their own health decision and lifestyle choices?
The daughter whos scopes came back negative needs only to manage stress and food. ( and maybe a little homeopathy sprinkled here and there :-) There is no disease to manage. The other daughter has a disease to manage. She lives in a dorm with no kitchen and works insane hours at an amusement park. Living my food life (paleo) would take heavy commitment and grit. And a lot more homeopathy.
After her colonscopy, she and I sat with the same doctor I have. He gave her the same speech he gave me. Remicade....Humira......Remicade.....Humira BLAH BLAH BLAH. At least that's what I heard in my head. But I really had to come to terms with "This is HER disease and HER choice". She has to make the choice and she has to live with that choice. Be it a food choice and alternative medicine or a traditional medicine choice.
Ever since I met this doctor I have said he is a great doctor for "sick people" or "disease crisis". She is sick. Her disease is active and it needs to be actively managed.
My last post I talked about "who is in charge". My thoughts on that have not changed, but have definitely been challenged. As my "baby" (who stands a little taller than me), walks this newly diagnosed world she has to find her voice. She has to be in charge of her health. At 22 that is hard. It is hard to read up and study on your disease. It is hard to make food choices to live and not be sick. It is really really hard (even at 40) to choose alternative medicines. It is hard to be sick and not have the energy to do any of this.
I told her right after she was diagnosed that maybe this is her "Lot in life" or her "thorn in the flesh" you can let it point to Jesus.
My Crohn's has given me compassion that I truly lack. It has given me eyes to see a world full of invisible diseases. It has kept me in prayer. Sometimes through pain, but sometimes through peace. My heart looks different because of my Crohn's. My sickness does not define me, it gives me a lens to see through. Finding ways to be thankful......Is the only way.
The journey in our home right now is crazy. My learning about medicine that many think is a bit out there. A daughter who has stomach stuff going on without disease. A daughter who has stomach stuff going on with disease.
Where does it all land us?
Moving forward. Sometimes that movement is a crawl and sometimes it is a run. But however, you or we move forward.....do.
LL
